It's the craziest thing...

The way we just devour time, it's unbelievable.
About a minute ago, I just remembered all the things that have happened today. Its been pretty freakin busy thats for sure. Got up this morning, shoved clothes in the dryer and ate porridge. I know, rivetting.
Went to school preparing myself to beg for my life to my drama teacher, by which I mean beg for an extension. I was late to school, that was gay. On the walk to drama, I remembered something horrifying.
I had to do my oral today. I had conveniently forgotten about this, not editted my draft and left it at home. woopie for me.
But since my drama teacher is super crazy amazing, she noticed me frantically rummaging through my backpack, asked me what was going on and gave me a note to go home and get it.
Delivered oral, shoved the thought of it behind me and onto winging my way through classics, shove that out of my, focus all energy on modern, get home, collapse.


It was much more stressful in real life...


But anyway, my thought was how crazy it is that we can get so good at just devoting all our energy to what is immediately in front of ourselves and chew the hours away in blocks, one assignment, one hour, one minute, one day, one week at a time.

A week is as far out as my zoom goes out at the moment, except for solo performance, which is constantly focussed on the next solo.

But occasionally I get to pull myself out, and those moments are my favourite. Formal shopping, youth group, small group, hugs. Moments dedicated to zooming out and resting your eyes, and that is so valuable and crucial no matter what anyone says.

The only problem is its very, very tempting to stay there.

I'll send you all my promises across the sea

Dear Future Husband, whoever and wherever you may be.

I must warn you of some things. I feel that if you are going to spend a large proportion of your life putting up with them, you should be given a lot of time to get used to them, conceptually at least.

1. I have a slightly expensive habbit/love/addiction of tea in all its many flavours and infusions. Start saving now. And tasting too.

2. I have an unhealthy affection for flash games. Not sure what is to be done about this... any ideas?

3. I often make a cup of tea and leave it on the bench, satisfied with only the proccess, to remember it and want to drink it half an hour later. Tea is not the same post-microwave.

4. I am full of pointless pipe dreams and hypothetical scenarios. I should write more and fantasize less.

5. I am nearly unbearably messy, disorganised, forgetful and un-punctual. I have very limited regard for order, both of objects (excluding books, CDs DVDs and the presentation of art) and of the ever ticking minutes. If I am meant to be somewhere, chances are I may have begun getting ready. Unless it is more than fifteen minutes away, in which case I will still be asleep. Please buy a very loud alarm clock and endeavour to become naturally organised. You couldn't possibly be worse than me, and if you are, prepare for one hell of a rollercoaster of missed deadlines, lost details and 'sorry-we're-late's.

6. And this is the big one, pretty much a summary.
I am a hurricane. With a multicoloured, multitextured wake of sheet music, clothing, shoes and scraps of paper both life shattering and menial, I am a hurricane. Physically destructive and disorderly, and emotional explosive. Extreme. If I am happy, I'll bubble over. If I'm angry, give me something to break that is of no consequence and run, or give me something to scream at. If I'm sad, let me cry on you and hold me very tightly. If I'm content, it will be tangible, but mostly I must warn you about the effect stress has on me. I carry a lot of tension in my lower back and in my feet. I will whinge about this, sorry in advance. These will sometimes cramp up. I will whinge about this, sorry in advance. I become hugely snappy, and I swear a lot. Consider earplugs.


Oh, and a small practical sidenote. We should buy all our crockery and glassware cheap from opshops. Like I said, I'm a hurricane.

Sorry in advance, for all of me.

My name is written on his hand

I am seriously agreeing with leisha here.

I am a procrastinator, because I am pretending that time does not exist.

I am pretending that it doesn't matter what I do.

Desperately trying to convince myself that everything will be fine.

That I don't need to be afraid of my lack of ability to run my life.

But I am...

damn school sucks...