are you going round the twist?

I am a sheep, so here I am writing letters, copying Ben at Closer to the Heart, just like leish at L is for Leish

and no, no my lettering is not the same as theirs, and i'm not gonna try to be comprehensive like leish lol.

A: I am really angry at you. For a while I was, then for a while I wasn't, and now I really, really am. (the end of that sentence is kinda awkward...). You screwed him over, twice. You know better than anyone what that would do, you knew, and still know, that there is more to this than you, but no, thats fine. Go off and be happy with some other guy, its bitter of me, and I'll probably just give in and talk to you, but I don't want you to be there, I don't want to see or hear from you that night. Just stand in a corner and remember that no-one wants you there, and that you had no right to do what you did.

M: I cannot wait to spend big chunks of summer with you, I've missed our chilled out fun times together, the loose-lips florence days that just don't seem to happen anymore. Basically, I love you to bits, you are super beautiful and you're still one of my closest friends, even though we seem to have drifted just a teensy bit, i'm gonna steal you right on back, i'm determined that we can be even closer than we were before all this stress-shit :)

T: I miss you so much! I'm so glad you have such an amazing girlfriend to look after you, even better than I used to, it is good because now I get to just miss you, and not worry :) If you hadn't twigged by now, you must keep this girl!!! (listen to your mother :P) I can't wait to see you at formal, or hopefully before, I have got some really tall shoes so you won't make me look like a midget in the pictures :) Oh, and just because its tradition now, I am going to break your ribs with a hug :)

S: I can't believe we are all leaving you already, even being back with you today felt weird, and its only been a few days. There are some things that I am so glad to never have to deal with again, but over all, I'm going to miss you! But I guess that is what happens when life happens, and we both know i'll be back.

M: You truly light up my life just by being in it, and i'm never letting go of you <3

K: Even if we drift over the next few years, we both know we'll be together in the end, and God has his hand over whatever happens, I'll always remember you very, very fondly every time I hear mighty to save, and you always have a special little spot in my heart :)

H: Sometimes when you walk into a room, you are just so damn hot that a little piece of me dies inside :P but THEN you are just so funny and lovely and beautiful to be around, that I don't even care! Your party was absolutely smashing, and you are just amazing to be around in general. love you!!!

R: If I have to take a million beautiful pictures of you and tell you a billion times that you are incredible to look at, be around and have the pleasure of calling my friend, i will. Because a person as wonderful as you are deserves to know it.

C: I don't really have a lot to say to you here, because these days I can just talk to you about whatever, whenever. So I guess I will just say, that that means a lot to me, and I am over-the-moon-happy to call you my bestie, finally lol. You are one of only two people I can be totally honest with, and that means a lot :)

B: I freaking love you. I love that you are so kind, sweet, ready to help others even with so much on your own mental plate, and just the cutest damn thing ever to walk the earth. And because I never lie to you, because you'll know and never listen to me again, I will say that you are a little too honest sometimes, which you know, but as you so beautifully put it the other day, our love is a rock <3

V: Sometimes I want to hit you, but sometimes I want to hit a lot of people haha. I love you very much, you know that, and I miss you heaps, which I hope you know too. Looking forward to seeing you again, and more often. <3 <3 <3

B: Back off my best friend. You might be better at maths and science, and be able to kick my ass in any video game but solitaire, but seriously. Back off, or be prepared to have your ass kicked IRL, public school style. I don't even care if i have to take both of you at once, enough is enough.

W: I know from reading your amazing blog that you can feel a bit unnoticed and unappreciated, but I want you to know that I think you are a really amazing guy, and an asset to everything you are involved in. Your girl is so lucky to have you, as is our whole group. We love you!!!

S: I miss you so much! Its like, I sort of see you every week, get a touch base and a big hug and a reminder to each other that we are still brother and sister, sometimes I text you when songs make me think of you, but mostly I miss our amazing chats that actually mattered. we've gotta catch up, ok?

Truth be told, I miss you. And truth be told, I'm Lying!

Hehe, love the glee version of gives you hell.
:D

This was gonna be another 'zomg I had another dream about you, how annoying is that' blog. Because I did, it felt super weird realistic, I woke up and thought 'huh, cool, that was fun. .... ... ... FAR OUT IT WAS ANOTHER DREAM!!!!!!' But anyway, I has more important things to say.

I have warm fuzzies to dish out :)

Dear Miss Mills,
You pulled me aside on Friday night to ask me if I was OK. I kind of am, but you noticing that I've been tired and a bit sad lately, made me much much more OK. You're like the lovely, protective big sister that I never got to have, thanks very much lovely.
<3gliTter


Dear Miss Jeisman,
I hope your back feels better dear, and your heart too. I know you have been having a hard time with everything lately, but I want to remind you that you are Gods incredible beautiful creation, and God doesn't make mistakes. And you always, always make my heart smile.
<3gliTter

Dear Cindy,
I am so unbelievably glad that we know the difference between grumpy and angry.
I love you :)
<3gliTter

Dear "What's New, 'Lipton Chai Latte'"
Chai means tea. It was traditionally called Masala, first made and loved in India and South Asia.
Your presenter, lovely as she is, is patronising hundreds of years of delicious tradition.
And lovely as the drink itself is also, and as new as I am to it as well, Lipton? really? A corporation built on the back of slaves, rather literally. And maybe I'm being over-dramatic, over-reacty and a bit indie-pretentious about this, but at least hundreds upon hundreds of years of tradition have come down to hard labour and poverty, just so that you could have 'the perfect pick me up'. Maybe there is good in the world.
<3cynic

I'll send you all my promises across the sea

Dear Future Husband, whoever and wherever you may be.

I must warn you of some things. I feel that if you are going to spend a large proportion of your life putting up with them, you should be given a lot of time to get used to them, conceptually at least.

1. I have a slightly expensive habbit/love/addiction of tea in all its many flavours and infusions. Start saving now. And tasting too.

2. I have an unhealthy affection for flash games. Not sure what is to be done about this... any ideas?

3. I often make a cup of tea and leave it on the bench, satisfied with only the proccess, to remember it and want to drink it half an hour later. Tea is not the same post-microwave.

4. I am full of pointless pipe dreams and hypothetical scenarios. I should write more and fantasize less.

5. I am nearly unbearably messy, disorganised, forgetful and un-punctual. I have very limited regard for order, both of objects (excluding books, CDs DVDs and the presentation of art) and of the ever ticking minutes. If I am meant to be somewhere, chances are I may have begun getting ready. Unless it is more than fifteen minutes away, in which case I will still be asleep. Please buy a very loud alarm clock and endeavour to become naturally organised. You couldn't possibly be worse than me, and if you are, prepare for one hell of a rollercoaster of missed deadlines, lost details and 'sorry-we're-late's.

6. And this is the big one, pretty much a summary.
I am a hurricane. With a multicoloured, multitextured wake of sheet music, clothing, shoes and scraps of paper both life shattering and menial, I am a hurricane. Physically destructive and disorderly, and emotional explosive. Extreme. If I am happy, I'll bubble over. If I'm angry, give me something to break that is of no consequence and run, or give me something to scream at. If I'm sad, let me cry on you and hold me very tightly. If I'm content, it will be tangible, but mostly I must warn you about the effect stress has on me. I carry a lot of tension in my lower back and in my feet. I will whinge about this, sorry in advance. These will sometimes cramp up. I will whinge about this, sorry in advance. I become hugely snappy, and I swear a lot. Consider earplugs.


Oh, and a small practical sidenote. We should buy all our crockery and glassware cheap from opshops. Like I said, I'm a hurricane.

Sorry in advance, for all of me.

I am a rabbit hearted girl, frozen in the light

Doing the letters thing again lol.

Dear Mr Mad Skills,
You are fairly awesome at the cup game, but I am much more awesomer, and this made me grin ear to ear like a mad thing. Ok, rephrase that, like myself; a loon on loon tablets.
I would very much like to see you again, but I am unsure if this is because I'm all 'has a slight crush on you and is a retard' or because you are genuinely nice to be around. Hmm, strokes beard.
In the future, please try to be less good-looking and funny, k?
Cheers,
<3lovestruck

Dear Illness,
You make me want to crawl into a hole and die.
Feel free to do this without me.
kthxbai

Dear Cindy,
I wish I could take this moment to say something heartfelt and encouraging, but I do believe I am much too tired for that. I love you? This at least is true, if very general.
We'll make it, ok? We will, I swear.
ifyougiveupilldie
<3gliTter

Dear Wifey,
Today we moved from our shithole of a year eleven sitting spot into the common room.
Your common room. For the whole of recess and most of lunch I expected you to come around the corner and shoo us out of your senior floor, back out into the cold with the other youngins, where we belong.
Truly this can't be real...
missingyoualready
<3wife

Dear Jelly,
See the letter directed at wifey.
And ad the following...
MY CAFE>YOUR CAFE
yournotvergoodcompetitionanymore:P
<3jelly

Dear BBLemu,
Your song is pretty, a little unbalanced and pitchy, but very pretty.
But not as pretty as you, or your smile, or your heart.
I love you, I miss you, and I'm jealous of your amazing TER in advance.
youwillkickmybutt
<3buBbles

Dear Hamster,
You smell of broccoli and poo.
And yet I am still your friend!
Lol, I'm not very nice am i XP.
I missed you when you were being a hermit, it is good to see you and to know that I will see you tomorrow also, even if it is at Stabberfail. (I have changed it yet again, thoughts? We could always swap between stabberfoyle and aberfail?)
Loveyoumuchly,
<3LJ

Dear Last first day of school,
You suck, and all the sitting on the floor in assembly made my back hurt.
I am glad that you are finished.
I am now very tired, but overall you were not too terrible.
gollyyeartwelveisscarywhenyoulookatitinonebiglump
<3yourwhingingsufferer

Dear Bossman,
Please do not be angry with me when I tell you the dates I cannot work.
You can either deal with it and say 'OK' or get screwed, I will quit.
I do not want to quit, so option a?
Sounds good,
<3failwaitress

Dear Florence,
Congrats on your hottest one hundred achievements, they are well deserved.
I am indeed a rabbit hearted girl, I feel we should be friends because of this.
Meetyouatthecoffeeshop
<3yournewbff

the rhthym of the rocking is unknown

Just in case I hadn't stolen this idea enough already...

Dear Peter Pan,
I will miss you. So damn much.
You don't even know how much I'll miss you. You can't, cos I don't.
It might be as much as I expect, or maybe more. I think the most random things will make me think of you and our very random, often inappropriate-conversation times.
I can honestly say I love you.
In an odd, six-way-marriage-perfect-stripper-cake-of-celebrities-alice-in-wonderland-peter-pan way.
Kthanxbai!

Dear Vietnam,
I already miss you so much.
It has been nearly a year since we met and you changed me and I painted some of your walls and much of myself and much of my pants.
My fat old history teacher likes your neighbour/cousinish fellow better than you. He prefers to sit on his fat ass and drink beer and eat food. I prefer to walk fake-drunkenly through your incredible organised chaos streets and try not to get hit by a bus.
My fat old history teacher maintains that it is less commercial.
He may be right. However, he also prefers the hindu goddess of death to the one true living loving god.
I do not trust his opinion.

Gam ern for the good times!


Dear beautiful,
I loved you even when you were mostly closed up, scared and vulnerable.
I loved you when I only knew about the ones on your wrists.
Recently you have been opening up, like a fearful, hesitant, incredibly beautiful flower.
I do not love you more, because I believe in trying to love people the same all the time you know. Strongly, unconditionally. Consistently you know?
But it is amazing, and I feel so privelliged to get to hear what goes on in that beautiful brain of yours. And you are going to pass year twelve. Even if neither of us sleep all year, you will pass, and so will I. k? good :)

Dear Amazing,
I feel like... like one day I will scream at you.
Like one day I will yell with all the desperate confusion and humanity in my soul that even though I don't think homosexuality is the best idea humans ever had, there is something deep and urgent inside me that tells me all people are gods people, all people are real, feeling, breathing, crying, sinning creatures of gods incredible creation.
One day, I will snap and tell you that believe it or not, frowning at something you feel to be too low brow will not make it as conservative as you. That those things are often funny. Believe it or not. One day, I will scream.

But I love you, so even when I snap, please don't stop loving me because I'm too liberal for your taste..


Dear Incredible,
You are exactly that.
The pain you have/are/will endure is just...
I can't even...
just....dude...
I know right?
I love you SO MUCH
k?
many loves and hugs and jasmine flowers for you forever...

Without a song or a dance what are we?

I'm sick of being bad at my job.
Well, not as brilliant at it as he needs me to be.
ARGH AT MYSELF.
Do you know, after he roasted me, I was actually daydreaming about going back to maccas.
now thats sad.

I need to pray. And I shall do so tomorrow.
I will sleep in til i dunno, maybe ten/ten thirty.
get up and eat breakfast, get dressed.
Tidy my room so its nice again.
tidy some of the rest of the house to make my mum feel better.
and then do LOTS of journalling and praying and calming down so i dont completely freak out about going to work.
I need my eternal perspective back I think, and tomorrow I'm gonna go looking for it.


Ode to Coffee

Coffee,oh coffee
why must you tease so?
when i dont pour you right
and all funny you go.

My boss sends you back,
with half laugh on his lips
I stand and I stare
my hands on my hips

Coffee, oh coffee
you taste so damn fine
You keep me breathing
around exam time.

days spent without you
are painful and long
I love you so much
but I make you so wrong

Coffee, oh coffee
oh vessel of caffeine
you also taste awesome
but not made by me

I should give cesar a copy lol.
I think he'd laugh...


In other news...

Dear BBlemu
I am so sorry that you had to cancel the GNI.
We really did want to go!!
And we know long distance relationships are hard, but please don't give up on us.
Meetings might be short and far between, but we think of you and miss you often, and we will make it.
Just think, we'll be getting Ps soon!
And we are so sorry that we have had to choose our silly jobs over spending time with our favourite mental patient, but I work in a small business where I can't just take the night off, and Cindy is incapable of saying no (but ill teach her eventually).
We love you!!!!

Letters For You all Pt2

Dear You,

I love you!

I love the way you play piano, it is very musical and delicate and awesomely heartfelty.

which is good, because your heart is very beautiful, so the music is too.

You don't play tacky, which is a change from everyone else.

But you don't do really anything tacky.

You are very sweet, like the juice that turns you into somebody so extroverted and deliciously silly that you make my head hurt in the nicestest way possible.

And you are good to talk to, and good to listen to also.

I forget how long I've known  you, it seems like an incredibly long time to me.

Which is a good thing.

<3glitter

letters for you all

Letters for people! Short ones, but yes. Somewhat similar to that ten things email, but hopefully all nice and no nasty. I think I shall start them all with I love you. But I want to make it clear that they aren't 'I love you because' they are 'I love you and'. make sense?

Dear You,

I love you! You are awesome.

I think a lot of the time you don't think you're awesome, and even on the days that you are tired or grumpy (and its fair for you to be grumpy, i dont mind) and not up to your usual standard of awesome, you are still awesome for me. You know exactly the right listening noises to make when I'm ranting and I love your laugh, so very much.
I love when we are laughing together, because when we do, it doesnt matter that I've only known you since transition day, it feels like we've been friends forever. And that's cheesy, really cheesy, but really true.

We wrote songs together, we wrote assignments together and now we blog.

We've grown up, a bit lol.

You are my toto, so is she, but you are.

I hope thats not pressureful...

Regardless, you are the first friend i made on transition day and I'm quite sure we'll be sitting on a porch when we're 80, laughing about something that doesn't quite make sense.

I love you girl, you amaze me.

2 b cont

<3glitter