If you had a hammer you would knock the whole thing down...

today's me makes a mockery of yesterdays optimistic plans and to-do lists, 
today's me plans for tomorrow's hopeful that 
she will be more productive and less tired than I am.


And baby, its always more, we're all just getting more
assignments
essays
tests
due dates
responsibilities
frustrated
angry
testy
aggravated
old
exhausted



over it

Unending love, amazing grace

If God wasn't the creator of the universe and everything, all-knowing and whatnot, I am certain I would confuse him very much.

Because although he has taken the punishment for every single wrong thing I have ever done, am doing and ever will do, I insist on feeling guilty and punishing myself anyway.

He has set me free, removed my chains.

And I insist upon putting them back on again. Wearing my mistakes like some sort of sick masochistic jewelry.

If God wasn't so smart, I'm sure he'd be confused.

I mean, my troubles aren't even pretty!
They aren't even sparkly or beautiful in that Romeo-and-Juliet way that sometimes happens.
I procrastinate, I get tired, I get over-emotional.
The end.



sowhydoikeepdoingthis?

and i'ma chase that feeling

the roads i've walked that i shouldn't have.
the place im standing on that i wish i wasn't
the path ahead of me that I'm not ready for.

The person I've been that I wish I haven't.
The person I am that isn't as good as I thought it would be.
The person I need to be, that I don't think I can.

Regret, inferiority, fear.

Mistakes, disappointment, mountains.



I just couldn't be in that room anymore.
I looked right at where we sat, where I sat in your lap.

I remember it was awesome, I had a great time.
Then I remember last year.
I cried I think.

Now this year...

and next?

don't even go there...

desperate for changing, starving for truth

hahahahahaha.

i can get onto blogger and leisha cant.

it  makes me smile :D

just like that lol.

in other news, fridays are very strange.

i have piano at 10.20 and then nothing until half past two.

four hours.

of absolutely nothing.

of course i could use this time productively, but i dont. :D

the year nines have year band, i laugh so hard.

but i wont be laughing once they start playing.

i will either vomit, or be jealous that we were crapper than that in year nine.

either way, its not looking good.

My name is written on his hand

I am seriously agreeing with leisha here.

I am a procrastinator, because I am pretending that time does not exist.

I am pretending that it doesn't matter what I do.

Desperately trying to convince myself that everything will be fine.

That I don't need to be afraid of my lack of ability to run my life.

But I am...

damn school sucks...