we are all at sea...

Sometimes I read/think/hear/see my own name and feel incredibly distant from myself all of a sudden, like when you are talking to someone and turn around to realise they aren't there, and have not been for several minutes/sentences/confessions.
Like when you have rested your hand on your leg in the same place for a long time and forget it is there, to look down at it, see it, not feel it, and freak out a little on the inside.
Like when you are holding up your weight by a rope and someone swiftly chops it with a cheese knife.
Like when you forget the reality of your own name.

Oh wait, it is exactly that.

sometimesithinkiamslowlysteadilysurelylosinglargepiecesofmyselfandnotnecessarilyinagoodway

out in the redness, out in the empty

this distance business is driving me nuts, already.

Having one gone far away was bad enough, but now another. And the third is not very far away, just far from me these days, which doesn't really bother me. I suppose I sort of put him there.

And then Toto, my beautiful beautiful Toto. How to try to help her...even the smallest bit.
I don't know how...

But I know God does.

Got to keep counting on the wizard...

she says she feels like shes falling...

I will do whatever I can to keep that from happening.

Cos if it does...well then that echo would be the straw that broke my loaded heart.

But you... you would have to be eleventy billion to the power of google times worse to ever let go.

And I'll never let that happen.

We will never let that happen.

<3glitter

neverforgetthatiloveyou