and all I said in my quietest voice was...

I needed you as much as they do...

its completely up to us

This week the trend was to crash and burn and then return again to practice the life that I pretend provides enough to get me through the weekend. I know that I don't want to die sitting around watching my life go by and what we take from this is what we'll get and we haven't quite figured it out just yet because all of us are all too stuck. Ttrapped to a chair watching our lives blow up

stuck watching our lives blow up.

you gave me a solution, what have I done with it?

cause I was absolutely sure I had it all figured out way back then, but after this day it's this week all over again.

And lately the weather, has been so Bi-polar and Consequently so have I.

Our concentration it contains a deadly flaw, change from words to blah, blah blah. We took prescription drugs but look how much good that did. Well I think I had a point, but I just got distracted

Lately it just seems to me like we've got the letters A.D.D. branded into our mentality we simply can't focus on anything.

That one thing of the moment that we all happen to like will only very temporarily kinda break the cycle of the double edged sword of being lazy and being bored. We just want more and more and more till it's all we can afford

To keep our eyes open for just one more day

To keep on hoping that we'll stumble on a way

To keep our minds open for just one more day

cause its completely up to us to maintain consciousness

well no one can possibly listen to this

more than 4 reps is just monotonous

we're losing interest, losing interest, losing interest 

cause its completely up to us to maintain consciousness

-Shamozzle of Relient K

It is well with my soul...

What is this love given to us
That saved my life through selfless sacrifice
Although we fail the cross prevails
Forgiveness stands
You take me back again

You’ve shown me life
You’ve opened my eyes
So I give You my praise
Yeah I give You my all

Salvation’s strong in Christ alone
The Saviour King alone in victory
I step aside give You my life
For You to move do what You want to do

I can’t imagine a life without You
‘Cause it’s all for You God






You hold the future in your hands
You know my dreams and you have a plan
And as you light my way, I'll follow you

My soul secure in all you've done
My minds made up
And you are the only one for me

Jesus, savior, in my life you are everything
My future decided, I will praise your name
And I know that I am, I am yours

You hold the earth in your command
You are the rock on which I stand
And as I live each day, I'll follow you

Unafraid, Unashamed Lord we know who we are
We are your people and we won't be silent
Unified hear us cry at the top of our lungs
You our God and we will not be shaken


Easter camp was incredible
My life is no longer under my own silly control
I am new
I am known

God is.

I could breathe a little more than I would realise

I have found a song that seems to fit with this year really well.
It was playing in my headphones as Leisha, Lauren and I were reflecting on the beauty of public shamelessness, or at least singing and dancing like losers. We were wondering why we didn't catch on earlier, but thats not what this post is about...

You can call me crazy, you can call me what you will
You can take the bitter pill if it helps you sleep at night

To me that means that you can be bitter and judgemental and pissy if you want, if it helps you feel better, but it makes no difference to me. Unfortunately I do not think this is true for me, I care too much about the opinions of others, but I want it to be true.

It's a long, long way my crooked friend
It's a long long way back home
So close, yet we've come so farSo close, still we've got so far

For me this is about life, specifically year twelve, school.
It's a long way to the finish, but we truly have come so far, in our education, our knowledge, our relationships, ourselves. It's a pretty cool thought really, but will be cooler at the end of this year lol.

I can safely say we feel as safe as we like,

For some reason this seems to me to be about the level of control we have over our emotions and our responses to stress, to the world. This year is as good as we make it.
Lest we forget those who died, I never will

Now I know you guys who graduated in '09 aren't exactly dead, but I think this line is about you, I'll never forget you, and I miss you all the time (I keep expecting you to walk into the common room and either sit on me or kick us out, or both).

Such a perfect Island, tucked away in the sea,
A real land of the free, do you hear me?

For me I think this is actually about Australia itself, but to a certain extent, the freedom we are constantly aiming and reaching for, and that we kind of already have, or pieces of it.

It's a long, long way my crooked friend, 
Such a long long way back home


So close, but we've come so far

To have sand in my pockets and nothing on my mind

Now I don't know if I'll be home to post a midnight reflection on 2009, so here is this piece of wisdom from the very talented josh pyke that have set me thinking a lot...

If you’re freezing on your left side
And you’re boiling on your right side
Then I guess you might be warm upon the line
There are many ways one can divide a life
And I’ve got mine

I was flying home and I
Saw the sunset from the sky
I saw the dark come spooning down upon the land
And I thought about the distance we all cover
And it made me sad

And as the old year took a bow
And joined the setting sun
It comes around again
Like a refrain
And we all sing along
And think of things we should’ve done
Till one year when the new year never came

Little comfort, little comfort
I’m afraid you’re not enough
I’ve had some learning both unwelcome and unkind
And it seems there’s but one story told
And then re-worked all throughout time

Are you a good one or a cruel one
It is just the laws that make us bad
What can we do to measure where we stand
Well I judge myself by what I give to someone else
So I’ll know where I am

Don’t let that sense of urgency betray you in the dark
The rustle of a curtain’s not a sign
Don’t frame this picture now
As some kind of closing remark
And most of all stay warm upon the line
Most of all stay warm upon the line
It’s best if you stay warm upon the line

Happy New Years to all.

May it be blessed with good times and good truth, good friends and good lessons learnt so that this time next year, you can say it was all worth it.

Live with no regrets.

I've been dying to get out, and that might be the death of me

even though there's no way of knowing where to go, as long as I'm going...

Some days, I want to be one of those people who can just run and not give a damn.

Just run from things, desert people, fail commitments, all that.

And not care.

But in the ever so wise, truthful and shoe-immortalised words of a great friend

trip on your own guilt land on your own headache

im a hostage to my own humanity...

one misstep and slip before you know it

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
The cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
That it's one missed step
One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed


you know, im not even entirely sure if i do like him.
i think i convinced myself to...
i just wanted to be struck by lightning.
so badly...

sing i dont wanna be in love
i dont wanna be in love

dreaming of the dolphin song

its like forgetting [butnot] the words to your favourite song
you can't believe it
you were always singing along
it was so easy [butnot] and the words so sweet [butnot]
you can't remember
try to feel the beat

bluelipsblueveins

<3gliTter

we drift here alone with nothing to do

these questions don't answer like other questions do...

untiloneofusmakestheotheronecometrue

<3glitter

and now all your love is wasted, then who the hell was I?

I haven't cried properly yet...
I'm hoping I do when I get to bed, which will be late because I have to finish my psych. And before that I have to do some practical psychology (not involving the sherbet made from 6 year old icing sugar) and get my brain into gear.

You know whats dumb.
This song isn't even relevant, but I can't stop listening to it...
who will love you?
who will fight?

Who will fall far behind....


She wasn't married, I don't know if she had a boyfriend, I don't know if that mattered to her.
She was working at maccas for goodness sake...surely she had dreams....

dreams that will now go unlived...

a life unlived...

and lives left behind to miss her

my my my
the sullen load


<3gliTter

can you remember the taste of strawberries?

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned it's back on you
Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you
It's hard to find relieve and people can be so cold
When darkness is upon your door and you feel like you can't take anymore

Let me be the one you call
If you jump I'll break your fall
Lift you up and fly away with you into the night
If you need to fall apart
I can mend a broken heart
If you need to crash then crash and burn
You're not alone

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head

When hopes and dreams are far away and
You feel like you can't face they day

Because there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again
You'll breath again

When you feel all alone
And the world has turned its back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart

Let me be the one you call

Come on, Mr. Frodo. I can't carry it for you... but I can carry you!


I nearly cried when he said that...

<3glitter

samwise gamgee you're my hero

quand les feuilles d'automne démarrent pour tomber

It could all wash away in an instant
It could all wash away in an instant
It could all wash away tomorrow or today
So don’t run too far into the distance

And I don’t know what I’ll do when everything’s gone
And I don’t know where I’ll stand so I can feel strong
And I don’t know who I’ll be when everything feels empty
I don’t know who I’ll be ’cause nothing last for long

And it could all wash away in an instant
It could all wash away in an stant
It could all wash away tomorrow or today
So don’t run too far into the distance
Don’t run too far into the distance

i had a hard day

you must send me that song...
also, expect me to leave messages like that on your phone at some point...

we both know it'll happen :P

<3glitter

imsomucholderthanicantake

until my eyes run dry...

What is love but the strangest of feelings?
A sin you swallow for the rest of your life?
You've been looking for someone to believe in
To love you, until your eyes run dry

She lives on disillusion road
We go where the wild blood flows
On our bodies we share the same scar
Love me, wherever you are

How do you love with fate full of rust?
How do you turn what the savage take?
You've been looking for someone you can trust
To love you, again and again

How do you love in a house without feelings?
How do you turn what that savage take?
I've been looking for someone to believe in
Love me, again and again

She lives by disillusions glow
We go where the wild blood flows
On our bodies, we share the same scar

How do you love on a night without feelings?
She says "love, i hear sound, i see fury"
She says "love`s not a hostile condition"

Love me, wherever you are
Love me, wherever you are
Love me, wherever you are
Wherever you are

you'll learn to hate me

I shouldn't be listening to this song.
I shouldn't be but I am.

Funny how often that applies to me...

For example, I shouldn't be letting myself think of friday so much so early in the week...

Damn I miss you so bad...

It's not even turning into psycho like usual, just this aching longing for your company.

Stupid friends lol.


<3gliTter