it's a mystery to me, the game commences

Ten Reasons Why I am not your 'average' teen girl.

Sorry to steal your idea Ben :)

1. One of my favourite things to do is watch crappy zombie/horror/sci-fi movies with my dad

2. One of my other favourite things to do is sit on my shed roof and watch the sunset.

3. The other night I stood outside watching the lightning for 45 minutes, eating a chicken burger.

4. I love Doctor Who, Torch-wood and Star-trek

5. I own three neck ties, two jazz hats and a beret. And I wear them. And I'm going to formal as a man.

6. I don't have a boyfriend, and generally I don't care.

7. I love Keith Green, a christian singer and incredible musician from the 80's

8. I'm interested in politics, and I love thinking about the way our culture works, how people think and behave and why, the all pervading nature of hyper-reality and how to escape it.

9. I sing random songs in public, just cos they are stuck in my head, or playing on my iPod.

10. I generally enjoy the company of my little sister and her best friend.

However, I must admit a few things.

10 reasons I am a fairly average teen girl.

1. I own an iPod, and I love it.

2. I have 4evr by the Veronicas, from when I bought it in year 8.

3. I fight with my mum.

4. I eat chocolate or mac 'n' cheese when I get depressed.

5. I buy things impulsively.

6. Sometimes I want a boyfriend so badly it makes me cry.

7. I cry in sappy movies, sometimes in kids shows, if I'm having a really bad day.

8. I am addicted to facebook.

9. I enjoy gossiping, (but I kind of hate that I like it)

10. I talk in the movies.

PS I had sooo much fun with my dear girl last night, going to see new moon.

Your laugh is gorgeous dear, utterly gorgeous :)

but Lord! We didn't know what size you wear!

Zomg.

Keith Green.

Heavy stuff.

The title seems trivial, but oh my gosh.

The lord will seperate them into the sheep and the goats. and to the goats he shall say

'...I was in hospital, racked in pain upon my bed and I begged and prayed and pleaded that you'd come but you didn't ...I was in prison. AND I ROTTED THERE! I read your magazines and heard you radio programmes and I prayed so desperately that you would come, but you never did.'

'LORD, there must be some mistake!' 'I mean, when were you hungry, and we didn't give you something to eat? LORD, when were you thirsty and we didn't give you a drink? I mean, thats not fair! Do you want something now? One of the angels wanna go out and get the LORD a hamburger and a coke? Oh, you're not hungry...I lost my appetite too'

'Lord, when were you a stranger? You weren't one of those creepy people who came to the door were you? That just wasn't our ministry, we just didn't feel led you know!'

'When were you sick LORD? I mean what did you have anyway? At least it wasn't fatal...oh, it was? but LORD, I would have sent you a card!'

Keith Green.

It's challenging, sometimes its funny, it's very well played and in short, its incredible.

Get into it.

He woke my sleepy spirit and last night, I prayed the devil away from me.

I told him to take his doubt and numbness and fear and insecurities and inaction and poison and shove it where the sun doesn't shine, where he belongs.

And today, today I feel awake.

Physically I'm still tired, but my soul feels awake again.

I made a big list of all my sins. Laziness, gossip, doubt, undiscipline, the list goes on and on for 3 and a half pages of my journal. I wrote them all out and admitted and repented them all. I sat there in my bed and pictured the cross and I finally felt free again.

I told him again and again and again that my God loves me. That he can't condemn me any longer, I'm not his puppet anymore.

So if you're one of the many people affected by my stuff ups, If I've annoyed you, brushed you off, lied to you, talked about you behind your back, been unhelpful, been bitter and deconstructive. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

Please forgive me, I was self centred and thoughtless and heartless, devoid of love.

And I'll be making specific apologies, so don't freak out and think I've lied to you or bitched about you, none of the people who read this blog come under that heading, so please don't worry about that. But one of our group has already been brave enough to come out with what needed to be said, its my turn now.

Toward this beautiful girl, I acted inexcusably. She doesn't even know, but I did all she saved me from, less than six months ago.

All that I suffered I inflicted.

This is probably one of the things I'm most sorry about.

Please forgive me...I don't deserve it, but I was so incredibly wrong to do what I did and say what I said, when I've been there myself such a short time ago.

And even today, she gave me exactly what I needed. A big, long, friendly hug. And a huge smile.

A thousand times more than I deserve...

<3glitter

youhavenopowerovermeyoudon'tdefineme