It's sad, but in the end it might be funny

I miss you. You aren't even gone, geographically. But I miss the real you, and I'm sure you do too.

This year (as I'm sure all the others will too actually) takes its toll on each of us, but it appears to have hit you the worst.(Note to everyone else, I am not forgetting you in this, I am just...being specific this time)

This makes me very sad, as I wonder if I should have been able to do something about it...

But you are not you at the moment, and I know you don't need to be told that.

This is not a guilt trip, definitely not. Because you are still lovely and you still listen to me whine even though I don't have a boyfriend to miss, or a care in the world regarding that matter. I think my wonderful family alone should be enough to shut me up with thankfulness, but turns out it isn't.

I just want to say... not in a guilt trippy way, that I am very excited to get my real best friend back. At the moment I get glimpses of her, and even in your current stress addled state you are still lovely.

But I can't wait for all of us to come back.

It'll happen, it has to.

And if it doesn't, I'm becoming a hermit in the Flinder's Ranges, please feed my tamagotchi.

It's so like me to never see

This is a part of a draft essay of mine sent to one hilarious young girl/woman/creature from the black lagoon.
It made me laugh, while editting an essay.
Super dooper props...
The smaller writing is her comment, the larger my essay. don't you go plaigerisin' my modern history now!

A considerable

Use of ‘considerable’ twice in as many sentences. Perhaps replace with ‘substansial’ or ‘significant’

percentage of the male population either volunteered or were sent off to war, leaving the industries at home bereft of employees and turning to who was left,

Try using a dash instead of a comma – implies importance of “the women” (irony in this sentence absolutely intended).

the women.

 

Time was lost up in a cloud, in a whirl

Reaching for breaking point.
It's hardly pretty up there on my shelf,
but it couldn't be worse than
keeping this all inside myself


I'm so nearly gonna snap.
Don't get me wrong, right at this particular second I'm fine. But seriously, double english on wednesday?
Someone is going to die.
I will reach into my bag for the pre-prepared petrol soaked book for my individual study. I will hand it to you to look at, getting the petrol on your hands. You will attempt to wipe this off onto your clothing, increasing your flammability. You will then reach for my modified version of your favourite object, the air conditioning unit remote. Upon attempting to turn it on, it will spit out flames, catching your clothes on fire. As you reach for your face in an expression of horror, your entire body will go up in smoke and the whole class will calmly get up and walk out of the classroom. Ready to either never speak of it again, or collaborate its reliability as an accident.

Too detailed?
Have I thought this through too much?
How will I get the air conditioner to spew flames at the right time?
How will I hand you the book without getting petrol on myself also?
How will I afford the petrol?


No.
No.
I'll figure it out.
I'll figure it out.
You underestimate the willingness of students to 'pitch in' on events like this.


Also, Dearest father. I know you are reading this, and I am not actually going to do this.
I'm just going to get through my double lesson on wednesday imagining it. Trust me, if you had to spend 100 minutes with this ridiculous excuse for a condescending illogical english teacher, you'd figure out how to make air conditioners spew fire too.

Possible blog code names for this teacher?
I'm open to suggestions :)

I am a rabbit hearted girl, frozen in the light

Doing the letters thing again lol.

Dear Mr Mad Skills,
You are fairly awesome at the cup game, but I am much more awesomer, and this made me grin ear to ear like a mad thing. Ok, rephrase that, like myself; a loon on loon tablets.
I would very much like to see you again, but I am unsure if this is because I'm all 'has a slight crush on you and is a retard' or because you are genuinely nice to be around. Hmm, strokes beard.
In the future, please try to be less good-looking and funny, k?
Cheers,
<3lovestruck

Dear Illness,
You make me want to crawl into a hole and die.
Feel free to do this without me.
kthxbai

Dear Cindy,
I wish I could take this moment to say something heartfelt and encouraging, but I do believe I am much too tired for that. I love you? This at least is true, if very general.
We'll make it, ok? We will, I swear.
ifyougiveupilldie
<3gliTter

Dear Wifey,
Today we moved from our shithole of a year eleven sitting spot into the common room.
Your common room. For the whole of recess and most of lunch I expected you to come around the corner and shoo us out of your senior floor, back out into the cold with the other youngins, where we belong.
Truly this can't be real...
missingyoualready
<3wife

Dear Jelly,
See the letter directed at wifey.
And ad the following...
MY CAFE>YOUR CAFE
yournotvergoodcompetitionanymore:P
<3jelly

Dear BBLemu,
Your song is pretty, a little unbalanced and pitchy, but very pretty.
But not as pretty as you, or your smile, or your heart.
I love you, I miss you, and I'm jealous of your amazing TER in advance.
youwillkickmybutt
<3buBbles

Dear Hamster,
You smell of broccoli and poo.
And yet I am still your friend!
Lol, I'm not very nice am i XP.
I missed you when you were being a hermit, it is good to see you and to know that I will see you tomorrow also, even if it is at Stabberfail. (I have changed it yet again, thoughts? We could always swap between stabberfoyle and aberfail?)
Loveyoumuchly,
<3LJ

Dear Last first day of school,
You suck, and all the sitting on the floor in assembly made my back hurt.
I am glad that you are finished.
I am now very tired, but overall you were not too terrible.
gollyyeartwelveisscarywhenyoulookatitinonebiglump
<3yourwhingingsufferer

Dear Bossman,
Please do not be angry with me when I tell you the dates I cannot work.
You can either deal with it and say 'OK' or get screwed, I will quit.
I do not want to quit, so option a?
Sounds good,
<3failwaitress

Dear Florence,
Congrats on your hottest one hundred achievements, they are well deserved.
I am indeed a rabbit hearted girl, I feel we should be friends because of this.
Meetyouatthecoffeeshop
<3yournewbff

you're the field in the middle of the city

Dear everyone who ever expected anything of me.

Shove it.

In other news, I am undeniably going to fail this maths exam on friday.

Like, not even a question.

And I beg you, for crying out loud, don't tell me I will be fine and do better then I think.

I ALWAYS and I mean ALWAYS do worse.

I am not good at maths.

repeat, since you seem to learn this slowly.

I

AM

NOT

GOOD

AT

MATHS

Sorry to have disappointed you, but thats the truth of the matter.

And whats that I hear?

You want to tell me I'm self handicapping, and should think positively?

just to reiterate, so you can learn using classical conditioning through repetition,

shove. it.

and if you stop telling me I'm not going to fail, maybe I'll reward you, by using negative reinforcement by removing the unpleasant stimulus that is my presence .

because, looking at that practice exam, I don't remember a single thing.

It looks like chinese to me.

And we all know how much attention I paid in chinese...

PS OH LOOK THE QUEEN! Imjustgonnagocutsomedumplingswithscissorsnowkthxbai

My name is written on his hand

I am seriously agreeing with leisha here.

I am a procrastinator, because I am pretending that time does not exist.

I am pretending that it doesn't matter what I do.

Desperately trying to convince myself that everything will be fine.

That I don't need to be afraid of my lack of ability to run my life.

But I am...

damn school sucks...