Monday, November 17, 2008

hello..why are all my blogs called hello...

I suppose all my blogs are called hello because I don't usually know what I'm going to say before I say it. I don't think I know even know that I am saying it...

It strikes me as odd that my odd friends think I am odd.
I'd like to point out that i have not been writing cryptically because I didn't want to.
I never claimed I was going to!

I also think that its funny that the most cryptic-est bit in it was 'uncle', its not even significant lol.

I'm not feeling deep and meaningful tonight, sorry to disappoint. Perhaps I shall post previous deep and meaningfuls....

Ah, here is one. Slightly relating to previous prosetry post...
This is from the 31st of May this year...
It was originally written with no spaces in it, but i like muchly spaces, so i will make this a spaced out version lol

Moody

Moody, moody
you’re a bitch. And I’m your bitch…
you make me a bitch
at the very least.
What is wrong with me?
Why I can’t I just go
‘I should not think this way’
and then not think that way anymore?
Why can’t I just go
‘I should not wish her dead’
and then not wish it anymore!
Why does my mind always go
‘but but but…’??
Why am I full of questions that
I don’t know how to ask?
And always being asked questions
I don’t know how to answer.
I can’t ask my own,
can’t answer anyone else’s.
All I want is to hold you,
hold you when I’m in one of my moods and
cry.
I want you to see me
cry…
I know you know
what goes on in my
head and my
heart
but
I want you to see it.
I’ve never wanted anybody to actually see it.
But I only hide ‘cos
I know you’ll find me…
I hide because I
so
desperately
want you to find me
…find me here.
I don’t know where I am,
the real me is one of the
thousand pieces of me
that clutter up the corners
and the floor of my mind…
or could you pick
and
chose the bits you think are
really me, please,
go ahead.
You have a better sense of
who I am
than I do
…much better.
I am a question,
a big fat
Y
with a question mark
and I’m slow dancing
in minefields where
everybody knows my name,
but in my mind-field
everyone knows who I am
but me.
Am I really this half decent person
that everyone sees or
am I just wishing so desperately hard to
not be ‘her’
that I convince myself
I am not?
It’s extremely difficult
to be honest
with yourself
when you’ve gotten so
good at lying to
yourself that
you
can’t even tell anymore…


wow, tis very longness with all those enters
<3 glitTer

2 comments:

  1. the 31st of may is my birthday

    how random

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oddly enough dear, that's why we usually leave the name or subject of the blog 'til last.
    Just a handy tip xD

    ReplyDelete