Sunday, May 31, 2009

just try a simple smile

'hey beautiful'

I wonder if those words could ever be as wonderful as I imagine them to be.
I wonder if anything I imagine could be as wonderful as it is in my head.
I wonder if any music could be as beautiful as when it was written.
I wonder if anyone could be as amazing as they are when I can't see them.
I wonder if anyone else does what I do...
I wonder if my eyesight or my hearing or my teeth will go first and which I would rather.

<3glitter
justdontleavemestrandedhere

light me up with certainty

Smartass, tightass, dumbass, hippy, sleazy, friggy and stoner.

Tinman is musically sleazy and tikka is a musical dumbass.

Dumbass is standing on sleazy and im a musical tightass, but im mrs boss as well.

So sleazy is staring at my crutch and cowboy is stoner, playing a clarinet shaped like a fish.
He nearly swallowed a fly.

Friggy is stuttering and hippy is putting daisy chains on people.

Smartass is not really doing anything and here we all are.

hang on.

which one am I again?

<3glitter
PS dontanswerthatquestion

Saturday, May 30, 2009

ive never been to alaska but i can tell you this...

christopher simeon
lucas timothy
elliette jayne

and yes, elliette is a girls name, no i didnt make it up.
my cousin was going out with a girl named elliette, she just went by elli.

mario kart love song for a wedding first dance, assuming i marry a geek.

there you go, an insight into my personal maternal weirdness.

told you you weren't the only one leish.

<3glitter
howcanistandherewithyouandnotbemovedbyyou?

Friday, May 29, 2009

Something is not right with me how was I supposed to know?

the radio played mood indigo

Woot for concert tickets. I'm finally going to a gig, for the first time in like... it was a year in january.
And now I get to go to a lovely little accoustic thing at the space theatre, only 26 bucks, so like, three hours of work :D so worth it.

I can't wait, although I shall have to contain myself and not scream cos like, its meant to be a lot more relaxed than regular empire gigs.

Oh well, I'll find a way lol.

<3glitter


butstevenhewasdead

Thursday, May 28, 2009

marvelling and passing time

ive been staring at the sky tonight, wondering what to do with daylight

until I can get myself together again.
I just feel so.....
dry.
Dried up and sleepy.
I need to have a day, or a week, of non-production.

I'm always producing things.
Always DOING. It's like I'm always giving my energy and time away, always giving.
I don't want that to sound like 'oooh, Im so generous!'
I don't mean like, money to charity or stuff like that.

But I'm always doing something. I'm either at school, trying to concentrate and get through my workload without dying of sleepiness, at one of my two current workplaces or trying to balance them, or at choir or at youth or at netball or somewhere.
And If I'm at home, I'm trying to get assignments done, or just trying to make myself get assignments done, or just rushing between two of the above.

I need a day off, a proper day off. Not just from school and from work, but from doing.



On a different note, I had a weird thought the other day.
When you're meeting a new person, do you say 'Hi, I'm Bob' or 'Hi, my names Bob'.

For some reason I feel like theres a difference between 'This is who I am' and 'This is what they call me'. I'm not quite sure what you could actually read into either of them, but still.

I just thought that was weird.
<3glitter>JAMES IS GAY!

Monday, May 25, 2009

we drift here alone with nothing to do

these questions don't answer like other questions do...

untiloneofusmakestheotheronecometrue

<3glitter

Sunday, May 17, 2009

beauty so unavoidable

I've never been so glad to be awake at 4:44 in the morning.

Ok, 4:44 is not good, half six would have done quite nicely.



But still.



I was lying in bed for two hours trying to fall asleep again and failing.



So at five I decided I should get up and grab my book and my camera charger.

So I read and then realised it was getting a tad lighter, had a sudden urge to get up and grabbed my camera from the charger.



Shoved on trakkies and hoodie and uggies and beani and hippy scarf and hobo gloves and climbed onto the shed roof, only to discover that a) it was wet and therefor slippery and b) thats where i get a good view of the sunSET not rise.



So I climbed off and ran around the other side of my house, where I couldn't see anything.

So I climbed over the back gate and through some nasty shrubbery and out into the street, hoping like hell that I didn't make my parents think we were being robbed.



Then I pretty much ran up the road and up the fire track, all the way up the fire track until I got to this bit with an actual concrete path and a freakin awesome view of the sunrise and took (among others) this picture:



Pretty specky huh!
Early mornings, give it a go!
And that is pretty massive coming from me lol.
<3glitter

Thursday, May 7, 2009

I think its time I put myself away...

It just doesn't fit.

I have my view of the world, as little and wrong and rigid as it is...

But I like it.
I like the world the way I see it, most of the time...

And this...
this huge, horrible, out of the blue thing...
it just doesn't fit in my head.

It's the wrong shape for the whole that she filled, a small one though it was, she had her little place in my little world...
And it's not even the hole...
It's the fact that it's there...

I don't know if the little shape faded away, or was wrenched out, or just went 'pop' and was suddenly not there. I don't know how it vanished, but I didn't see it go, didn't expect it.

Someone just called me and said "Oh, by the way, there's a new hole over there that you hadn't known about" in the middle of my modern history class...


On Tuesday, I whinged about doing aural, I sat with my friends at reccess, I had a voice lesson and stressed about my solo, I was bored in supervised, I worried about my pyschology, I worked 4-8, I served people cheesburgers and asked if they wanted coke, I drove home, I stalled the car trying to pull into the garage up our steep driveway...

but jayne...

Jayne died.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

do you want to go to the seaside?

andicantevenrememberherlastname...

and now all your love is wasted, then who the hell was I?

I haven't cried properly yet...
I'm hoping I do when I get to bed, which will be late because I have to finish my psych. And before that I have to do some practical psychology (not involving the sherbet made from 6 year old icing sugar) and get my brain into gear.

You know whats dumb.
This song isn't even relevant, but I can't stop listening to it...
who will love you?
who will fight?

Who will fall far behind....


She wasn't married, I don't know if she had a boyfriend, I don't know if that mattered to her.
She was working at maccas for goodness sake...surely she had dreams....

dreams that will now go unlived...

a life unlived...

and lives left behind to miss her

my my my
the sullen load


<3gliTter