Next year all our troubles will be far away...

I keep getting 'Have yourself a Merry Little Christmas' stuck in my head.
There is something so desperately sad about that hopefulness.
Does that make sense?

That line that I put in the title always gets me, because the heartbroken pessimist living in my mind wordlessly cries out without fail, 'no they won't' and it just...brings me to weeping. That song is the broken hearted Christmas carol, calling out to all humanity to 'let your heart be light '. Just, just let go of it.


That song is Carol sitting in her lounge room on christmas eve curled up tight like she'll fall out of her own chest if she lets go, listening to a playlist on her iPod

And Carol, she gets up. She pries her hands from her knees and her chin from her knees and her knees from her chest and she does not fall out of herself. Something incredible happens. The pain falls out instead.

She picks herself up and goes to a carols service, and to family christmas. She lets her heart be light.


Please forgive my chronic sentimentality and punism, I have been watching Grey's Anatomy.

And I have one last bit, that I wrote as my facebook status, stands alone really but I wanted to put it up here cos I really like it.

'Human life is incredible, there is an unbelievably strange mix of hope, joy, agony and desperation in the idea of waiting for an organ donation and Silent Night and O Holy Night are possibly the most beautiful songs in the world done right.'

I've had some learning both unwelcome and unkind...

And as the old year took a bow and joined the setting sun, it comes around again like a refrain,
And we all sing along and think of things we should have done, till one year when the new year never came

This song keeps getting stuck in my head, I dunno why. It's very pretty (dear Leish, you must get a copy of chimney's afire, basically, I should hurry up and burn you a copy.)

Today has been... Varied.
I had to bite my lip to keep from telling a certain my-subject-rules-over-all teacher (Yeah I know, that doesn't narrow it down) that he should lay off and appreciate that I tried to do it and because I was so bored exhausted I couldn't take anything in so there was no point in continuing.
And that I had to work.
And that it was my birthday party, which we will now never have to worry about again, because I won't have another for twelve months (unbirthday party anyone?[we should have a giant unbirthday party to celebrate the premier of Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland]) and in twelve months I will be lazing around being happy and bored, and painting old cars and furniture and leaving them places and taking lots of photos and enjoying the fact that I got into my uni course but don't have to do any work yet.

I desperately need want to do all those crazy things we said we'd do that night when everything was fine...
Oh, and I really wanted to tell him to put his head back up his ass where he found it.
Too far?

And yeah, I'm over-reacting, I was grumpy!


But then you dudes arrived, much to my happiness, hyperactivity and regression into feeling totally like a year eleven again. But it's been worth it, to see the funny little things you do when you subconsciously still act like students.

Librarian: 'If you're sitting here you need to be quiet and be working'
Non-students with withdrawal symptoms: -nodd- 'Yep' -reach for non existent schoolbag-

I love you guys, you're awesome.
And I shall be calling you (particulary my wife shortstuff) at 3 am when I can't think straight to do my homework. And I shall do so on my hamburger phone.

:D :D :D :D :D :D