Sunday, November 16, 2008

Asplode

Those unfortunate carbon based lifeforms who share the displeasure of mrs irvings company with me in pre-studies will remember the poems 'Eve' and 'Unto Us'.
We got to discussing the difference between poetry and prose, and I think these are sort of halfway. I write like this lots, we were talking about how they flow like thought, flow like conversation. I have some stuff to get out of my head, so here goes.

A warning, I often write these first as a block of ramblings, then put breaks in it. Not sure if ill do that this time, depends on how it spills out i suppose.

Everyone says
I talk too much
I think
they say it as a hint to
try and get me to
shut up
but it isnt
that easy
because you see if
i dont talk
i just
fill up with
thinkings
musings
ponderings
yellings
some of it has
got to spill out
or ill
asplode
i always seem to be
halfway there
i am
confusing
and
confused
surrounded
and
smothered
by
myself
and
everyone else
all at once
everything
all at once
and then
nothing
cant decide
which is worse?
halfway
between poetry
and
prose
between
feeling
and
thought
halfway
between
chalk
and
cheese
what does that
make me
it makes me
confused
when you dont want to
want what you want
and you convince yourself
that
you dont want
what you want
then sometimes
you get too good at it
and you cant even tell
anymore
cant tell
fact
from
fiction
cant tell
wishful thinking
from
dreaded reality
ive become
so afraid
so damn afraid
afraid of
everything
and
everyone
and mostly me
and mostly
no one
im afraid of
fear
afraid of
loneliness
which makes me more
fearful
and more
lonely
and more

confused




Hope you like it, or whatever. I dont think i want you to understand it, because theres underlying stuff there that i dont feel like having as public knowledge. Nothing majorly dramatic, but yeah.

Also, smiles lanyard has inspired me to try my hand at 6 word thingers
so here are three


stare blank. mind full. face wet.


all the harder, said the girl


deep down everyones a show off

5 comments:

  1. i understand it

    i wouldnt be able to rationally re explain it back to you

    but i understand, in my little mind of minds

    :P

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hello wifey.
    I like the way you write, veryy...raw. Instinctual. I like that. A lot.
    Don't take everything I write in my blog to heart. I made it just to cope with the mood swings. Which is why I dash back and forth between fucked up and super happy high.
    But welcome to this community, that I proudly enough started, out of the people at our school.
    I like this...feeling of closeness with other people. I like that you can read it and I hate it too.
    We're lost in translation.
    But i love it
    "This could be it's own essay" (TWLOHA lol)
    So take it easy, catch you on my flip side
    XOXOX
    P.S. Oh, I love you. Just thought you had a right to know.

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh i am such a detective! i read your last post, and skimmed through your first two! and saw your followers. and i am actually a genius. (shazz calling you wifey confirms it ;D) ahahaha i win.

    ReplyDelete
  4. and your about me too... music nerd. and the just started learning guitar. i'm like, master sherlock oh yeahhh ;)
    p.s. you're such a tease ;D
    now comment my fantastically disturbing stories on the blog you decided to follow ;D

    ReplyDelete
  5. wow
    i like the poetic breaks

    get bitch, bitch

    find something better to do with your life

    ReplyDelete