So, I don't know that I have all that much to say, but...
Sometimes I feel disconnected.
From the reality outside the car when I'm driving, the customer over the phone, the person behind the text.
From the people beside me, my friends and family, disconnected from the passage of time.
From God, myself and reality.
For example, when I'm driving, I feel like I'm playing a video game, it doesn't feel like it has real consequences, even though I know in my head that it does.
It used to happen really badly, a couple years ago, in like year nine.
I knew you were leaving, and man oh man did I dread it. I knew that everything had to change and there was nothing I could do about it.
And it was like....
It was like at the end of Juno, when they play 'Anyone else but You' and they slowly zoom out and show end credits. Like I was in nostalgia mode about the event, even as it was happening.
Like my zoom was set too far out, and I couldn't help but look at my life as a memory, it was like watching a distant memory in my mind, I felt so far away from everything and everyone.
I don't know why this thought is the one that has come out in this moment when I thought I had nothing to say, but there it is.