Just in case I hadn't stolen this idea enough already...
Dear Peter Pan,
I will miss you. So damn much.
You don't even know how much I'll miss you. You can't, cos I don't.
It might be as much as I expect, or maybe more. I think the most random things will make me think of you and our very random, often inappropriate-conversation times.
I can honestly say I love you.
In an odd, six-way-marriage-perfect-stripper-cake-of-celebrities-alice-in-wonderland-peter-pan way.
I already miss you so much.
It has been nearly a year since we met and you changed me and I painted some of your walls and much of myself and much of my pants.
My fat old history teacher likes your neighbour/cousinish fellow better than you. He prefers to sit on his fat ass and drink beer and eat food. I prefer to walk fake-drunkenly through your incredible organised chaos streets and try not to get hit by a bus.
My fat old history teacher maintains that it is less commercial.
He may be right. However, he also prefers the hindu goddess of death to the one true living loving god.
I do not trust his opinion.
Gam ern for the good times!
I loved you even when you were mostly closed up, scared and vulnerable.
I loved you when I only knew about the ones on your wrists.
Recently you have been opening up, like a fearful, hesitant, incredibly beautiful flower.
I do not love you more, because I believe in trying to love people the same all the time you know. Strongly, unconditionally. Consistently you know?
But it is amazing, and I feel so privelliged to get to hear what goes on in that beautiful brain of yours. And you are going to pass year twelve. Even if neither of us sleep all year, you will pass, and so will I. k? good :)
I feel like... like one day I will scream at you.
Like one day I will yell with all the desperate confusion and humanity in my soul that even though I don't think homosexuality is the best idea humans ever had, there is something deep and urgent inside me that tells me all people are gods people, all people are real, feeling, breathing, crying, sinning creatures of gods incredible creation.
One day, I will snap and tell you that believe it or not, frowning at something you feel to be too low brow will not make it as conservative as you. That those things are often funny. Believe it or not. One day, I will scream.
But I love you, so even when I snap, please don't stop loving me because I'm too liberal for your taste..
You are exactly that.
The pain you have/are/will endure is just...
I can't even...
I know right?
I love you SO MUCH
many loves and hugs and jasmine flowers for you forever...
The Shade In The Night
4 weeks ago