Monday, August 24, 2009

there's nothing after all

Continuation and expansion of previous blog.
If God asks me to be a spinster.

I thought of an even worse possibility.
What if I have a steady christian boyfriend who loves me and who i love.
and god still asks me to be a spinster.

I think that one is about eighty thousand times less likely, but still.

I realised something, sitting here enjoying how contented i am as i lie on my bed, blogging, eating sushi, drinking chai and listening to amber rubarth while it rains and blows a gale outside, that there is a gap in my contentment.

I am very nearly completely incapable of contentment without other human company.

I am never fully present in my life.
I'm always thinking about something else.

Honestly, even if I had a guy, I would imagine him into something more perfect than he was.
How scary is that...

and if God asks us all to be spinsters, we are SO living together.
if its just me, you still get to be my sanity :P


  1. As much as I love you guys, I would rather live alone with billions of cats and a very well stocked pantry to provide sugary sustenance to the kids in my neighbourhood. I'd get them to call me 'Grandma' in an attempt to fill the soul-crushing hole in my life where my real family should be.


  2. your a funny one.

    you should definitely become a spinster cat lady, just for my amusement :)


  3. hehe that would actually be funny. and yeah, she has a point. i think my sanity would be very low by the time i am a spinster anyway, that i dont need either of you twenty four seven to make me crazier...

    i'll probably stak branden in his far more perfect life without me... (hehe, better watch out sweetie, youre not getting rid of me ever! mwahahahahahaHAHAHAHAhaha...ha...-cough-)