Wednesday, June 16, 2010

The falling leaves drift by my window

Before I say what I'm going to say, I need to make something COMPLETELY clear.
Or at least I hope it will be clear.

To the person this is directed at (don't worry, you'll know)
I'm not angry, bitter or jealous.
I don't think that you shouldn't be able to rely on him.
I don't think that I should come before him.
yeah, not angry, not attacking you.
I really, really hope you understand that.

But sometimes, when I read your answers to the questions on formspring of who is your best friend and answer that it's him...
Argh... I mean, I'm not mad, I know you care about me and at the risk of sounding arrogant, I know that you love me, just as I love you.

But I can't help but wonder what it'll be like when you guys get married. I have a feeling that I'll probably be single for a while and I'm wondering what life is gonna be like, when I'm 'the single one'. When you guys need husbandandwife time, you know, when you're raising a family and whatnot.

I hope it doesn't sound self centred, I don't mean it in a whiney 'don't forget to pay attention to me' way. And I don't intend this to be a reflection on you as individuals, or as a couple, at all.
Just... just on the way the world works, social dynamics and such, in general terms.

It's similar to the ponderings I know others have been having about life post-school, how will our friendships look in the context of a different time, a different stage of life and whatnot.

I think it will be interesting, and hopefully not painful.

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