Monday, March 29, 2010

Time was lost up in a cloud, in a whirl

Reaching for breaking point.
It's hardly pretty up there on my shelf,
but it couldn't be worse than
keeping this all inside myself

I'm so nearly gonna snap.
Don't get me wrong, right at this particular second I'm fine. But seriously, double english on wednesday?
Someone is going to die.
I will reach into my bag for the pre-prepared petrol soaked book for my individual study. I will hand it to you to look at, getting the petrol on your hands. You will attempt to wipe this off onto your clothing, increasing your flammability. You will then reach for my modified version of your favourite object, the air conditioning unit remote. Upon attempting to turn it on, it will spit out flames, catching your clothes on fire. As you reach for your face in an expression of horror, your entire body will go up in smoke and the whole class will calmly get up and walk out of the classroom. Ready to either never speak of it again, or collaborate its reliability as an accident.

Too detailed?
Have I thought this through too much?
How will I get the air conditioner to spew flames at the right time?
How will I hand you the book without getting petrol on myself also?
How will I afford the petrol?

I'll figure it out.
I'll figure it out.
You underestimate the willingness of students to 'pitch in' on events like this.

Also, Dearest father. I know you are reading this, and I am not actually going to do this.
I'm just going to get through my double lesson on wednesday imagining it. Trust me, if you had to spend 100 minutes with this ridiculous excuse for a condescending illogical english teacher, you'd figure out how to make air conditioners spew fire too.

Possible blog code names for this teacher?
I'm open to suggestions :)


  1. Clearly the correct answer here is 'turkey'.

  2. TURKEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    ...I mean what?

    ...that is all...

  3. I was going to say, "turkey isn't really much of a code word is it?" and what do I find here? Haha.

    For the most part I could hardly stand to sit in that room. Thankfully you've got holidays now. How I treasured those holidays. Just sit tight, think of something far more awesome than the boring, unhelpul nonsense that she speaks and nod when it seems like she's asking a question, or looking for feedback from the class. Lose yourself in something else. Or argue against her opinions. Wait, that one might have the opposite effect because of how frustrating she is. I don't know. I'm not sure if we ever got through the whole, "I don't want to be here it's a waste of time" mentality. Hmm. Now I'm going to fight the urge to ramble. Good luck.