It made me laugh, while editting an essay.
Super dooper props...
The smaller writing is her comment, the larger my essay. don't you go plaigerisin' my modern history now!
Use of ‘considerable’ twice in as many sentences. Perhaps replace with ‘substansial’ or ‘significant’
percentage of the male population either volunteered or were sent off to war, leaving the industries at home bereft of employees and turning to who was left,
Try using a dash instead of a comma – implies importance of “the women” (irony in this sentence absolutely intended).