A few things on my mind tonight.
First, final assembly was disappointing and anti-climactic, but next week we will leave and not come back. This is....well I don't really know what it means to me right now. I am just very, very tired. So, a little sad, a little scared, a little happy, a little excited, a lot numbed.
A lot tired.
Second, I am so worried about you. Again. I thought maybe you were getting a little better, but then we talked properly again, and I see now I was very wrong. And I want to talk about you with somebody, but I'm assuming you haven't told many people, and I'm sure not going to assume to the contrary.
But far out I am worried...
Its like you fell into a hole. you fell into a hole, and everyone thinks you should be getting out of it by now, so you are standing on your toes and jumping up when they walk past to make it look like you are getting somewhere. They all believe you, but I come and sit by the hole and say 'hi', watching you and frowning intently. 'Whats wrong?' I ask. 'nothing', you say. You try to tell me its fine, i don't believe you. I will keep frowning and keep saying hi, keep not believing your lie until you are ready to admit it.
But what more can I do?
I am increasingly thinking the answer may simply, and always, be...
The Holding Of One's Breath
9 hours ago