Monday, August 23, 2010

Breathing out joy after breathing in pain

I want to be overwhelmed. With anything.

Joy, love, despair, hope, pain.

Anything but being slowly eaten away by this stress and self-inflicted exhaustion.
And as much as it is permeating me already, and as much as I hate it, I would even prefer frustration.
As long as it's a lot of it.

Basically I want to feel enough to cry, to cry my damn eyes out.
I am tired of wandering around, being tired.
I am starting to talk to myself again, I am dreaming about politics and the men of my dreams (completely literally) and I can hardly keep from screaming at my father.

Come on, shove me into overload, we all know I'm heading that way anyway.


  1. stop speaking my thoughts.
    it scares me.
    i adore you. i am always here.
    God loves you. i love you.
    please don't let your brain fry.
    you mean too much to me. ♥ xx

  2. you're too cute darling, I love you also :)
    I don't think my brain will fry while you are around :P

    :P I am good now haha

  3. I can relate to this. Not only from my past, but also right now.

    I hope things get better soon.